Until I Collapse
by Lovelihead
Summary: Tony and Ziva finally give into temptation, but it's not that easy. TIVA! Rating changed to be safe.
1. Take One

**Author Note:**

**Disclaimer: **_Last time I checked... no. I'm quite sure that if I checked again, it would still be no, so I'm not checking because I don't think I can handle that heartbreak again. _

**Dedications: **_Once again, this is dedicated to Kali, especially due to the fact you Beta'd this and gave me the story name AND chapter name. Love you Kali xx_

**Spoilers: **_None_

_I know, this is quite short, but I'm hoping to continue this (If you guys think I should xD) and the upcoming chapters will be - hopefully- much longer, plus I only wrote this tonight in crappy WordPad because I had to reload my computer, and lost Word, and all of my half finished fan fictions :( . Oh well :P I hope you enjoy it anyway_

**Rating:**_ Rated T for sexual..ness and course language_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

"I always knew this day would come," Tony DiNozzo grinned, closing the door of his apartment. Ziva's legs were wrapped around his waist and she was placing featherlight kisses down his neck.

Ziva chuckled against his skin, "Did you, Tony?"

"I knew you wouldn't be able to resist the DiNozzo charm for long," Tony grinned, walking slowly through the loungeroom.

"Tony, it has been almost four years, I think I resisted pretty well..." Ziva stated, letting her tongue dart between her lips and swirl around the skin behind his ear; she grinned triumphantly at the sharp intake of breath Tony took.

Tony lightly placed Ziva on the kitchen table as she continued her assault on his neck.

"I always knew it would be hot, too," Tony breathed, still sounding smug as he basically moaned the words.

"Well, I do not know about you... but I am ready to prove that," Ziva grinned mischieviously as she began to unbutton Tony's shirt.

"God, you don't know how long I've waited to hear that." Tony growled, pushing Ziva down onto the table and placing his lips on hers.

Tony ran his fingers through the silky tendrils of her hair, relishing the texture.

Ziva ran her fingers down his arms, feeling the tingles his burning skin sent through her fingertips.

"Tony..." she purred against the flesh of his jaw.

Suddenly, Ziva pushed up against Tony's chest, making him stand upright once again. She slid her feet to the ground, pushing up between Tony and the table. She let her fingers dance down his chest before quickly darting behind him.

Tony turned around slowly. Ziva had a sly grin on her face, she pushed Tony roughly onto the table, climbing over him she placed her knee's either side of his.

Tony laughed. "I should've expected that," he grinned.

Ziva said nothing, she just chuckled before resting her lips against Tony's.

Tony weaved his fingers through her hair again, pulling her toward him, so their lips were pressed firmly

Tony massaged her head softly, causing her to gasp. He took this opportunity to plunge his tongue into her mouth.

They were so caught up in one another, they didn't hear the faint crack that sounded from beneath them.

"Zee-vuhhhh," Tony murmured as Ziva bit down on his lip.

Crack...

"Tony," Ziva smiled, letting her hands wander back to the shirt she had left previously, half unbuttoned.

Crack...

Tony pulled Ziva's shirt over her head and threw it across the room.

CRACK

They heard it that time.

"Shit!" they exclaimed in unison before they felt the table shake beneath them.

Tony scrambled to jump off the table but it was extremely hard to do with Ziva wrapped tightly around his body.

The table fell and Tony landed flat on his back on the floor; soon after Ziva's body came tumbling down on top of him, sprawled out across his aching body.

Ziva squeaked as she struggled to untangle herself from him.

Tony groaned, unable to move.

"Tony, are you okay?!" Ziva panicked, rolling off of him.

"That table looks a lot lower than it actually is... Owww..." Tony groaned, sitting up slowly.

Ziva cursed in Hebrew, as she walked to the otherside of the room where Tony had thrown her shirt. She slipped it back over her head and turned around to help Tony to his feet.

"I hope you learnt something from this," Ziva growled, quite obviously pissed as she helped him to the couch.

"Don't attempt to fuck on tables?" Tony limped behind her.

"No, do not buy cheap tables," Ziva replied.

* * *

_Haha, I hope you liked that - short as it was._

_This is from Kali -_

_Since Mel wouldn't let me put this in the first AN because she didn't want to give the ending away, Kali recommends listening to any of these songs while rereading this hilarious story:_

_All Fall Down - One Republic_

_Take Me On The Floor - The Veronicas_

_As You're Falling Down - Escape The Fate_

_Falling To Pieces - The Getaway Plan_

_As Long As I Fall - Halloween_

_Ready To Fall - Rise Against_

_Smashed to Pieces - Silverstein_

_When It All Falls Apart - The Veronicas _

_and of course, 'Til I fall - Eminem_

_Haha, don't forget to review!_


	2. Let's try this again

**Author Note:**

_Yay chapter two! The rating has been changed because a few people suggested to. It's basically only because of the language and 'almost sex' so it won't get too hardcore :P I thank everyone for your reviews, too. I really appreciate them, so make sure you keep leaving them, they make my day._

**Disclaimer: **_You just like to hurt me :(.. No, I don't. Happy now?!_

**Dedication: **_Once again, I dedicate this to Kali - for your awesome Betaing skills. I wonder if Ziva will get to eat Tony's burrito any time soon, LOL! _

_On with the show._

* * *

"How is your back?" Ziva asked Tony, sitting beside him on the couch, her head resting against the cushions.

"Feels better..." He replied, avoiding her gaze.

Ziva pursed her lips, "This is afwkward."

Tony nodded his agreement, "What now?" he questioned.

"Well, I guess you will need to buy a new table..." Ziva announced, waving a hand in the general direction of the pile of splintered wood that was once Tony's dining table.

"I meant with us, we can't just forget this. We nearly..." Tony trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence to Ziva's imagination.

She chuckled drily. Crawling towards him and hovering over his torso on the couch, she whispered suggestively, a seductive grin on her face, "Who is saying we need to forget what _nearly_ happened, hmm?"  
Their breath mingled her lips only inches away from his and her eyes were ablaze with mischief. He grinned up at her impishly. In an instant, Ziva was on her feet, her body swaying as she walked away from him.

"I am going to have a shower," she said seemingly apathetically, before looking over her shoulder and grinning playfully, her eyes sending a silent invitation.  
Tony sat rooted to the spot, unable to comprehend anything, but as soon as Ziva had rounded the corner and he heard the shower begin to run, he jumped to his feet, immediately regretting the action as his back ached in protest.

"Ow.." he quietly groaned, before walking toward the bathroom.  
As he slipped through the door, he gulped audibly; he could just make out her naked form through the frosted glass and his breath hitched in his throat. He couldn't move.  
"Tony?" He heard her call. She knew he was there despite his quiet entry.  
"Ziva," he said in a low tone, moving forward slowly.  
Neither spoke for a few moments.  
"Well, are you coming?" Ziva asked, pushing lightly on the door to peer out at him. Water dripped from her hair and rolled down her cheek to fall from her jaw; he wanted nothing more than to taste it.

Tony nodded silently, biting his lip as his darkening eyes followed the path of another droplet of water. He saw Ziva grin before pulling the door closed once again.  
He moved quickly to pull his clothes from his body, ignoring the throb of his back. He checked his breath before confidently pulling the door open. Her back was to him and he paused. His gaze travelled down her back.

Ziva threw a smirk over her shoulder before turning around. She laughed at the dazed look on Tony's face. She watched him for a moment before wrapping her fingers around his wrist and tugging him towards her. The door closed behind him. She wove her fingers through his hair; pulling him down to her level, she placed a sweet kiss on his cheek.  
Tony sucked a moist mouthful of air through his teeth; the sudden feeling of hot water and Ziva's heated skin against his made his breath catch.

"Let us try this again, yes?" Ziva murmured against his skin as Tony ran his hands up her bare back.  
Tony was unable to reply as Ziva crushed her lips to his, her tongue darting between her lips, trying to gain access to his mouth.  
Tony could do nothing else but comply; he pushed her up against the cold tiles of the shower with force and ran his fingers over her shoulders.

Ziva moaned at the contrast of Tony's body and the tiles against her body. She gripped Tony's shoulders before pulling herself up to wrap her legs around his waist.  
Tony's lips covered hers and his teeth tugged at her bottom lip as she played with the tufts of hair at his neck. He moved his lips away from hers and kissed a path down to her neck.

"It seems as though we're doing it right this time," Tony mumbled against the flesh of her throat, as she arched her neck.  
"Mmm," she moaned, placing her feet back on the ground.  
Tony looked down at her at the same time as she looked up at him; she had a frightening animalistic look on her face. Tony didn't know whether to be excited or scared.

A growl ripped through her throat as she breathed heavily. She pushed against his shoulders, attempting to take the lead, pressing him against the opposite wall.  
Unfortunately, it wasn't the wall – it was the door.

"FUCK!" Tony yelled at the top of his lungs as he found himself falling backwards, once again, with Ziva clinging to him for dear life.  
He hit the tiled floor hard, the scraps of clothing littering the floor barely blanketing the impact.  
"Tony, I – I am so sorry. I.." Ziva scrambled off of him. She was relieved that his head was cushioned by the bathmat.

"You're going to _kill _me." Tony growled, levering himself up with his hands.  
"It is not fair!" She yelled exasperatedly.  
"Somebody hates us." He stated, wincing in pain as he tried to push himself to his feet.

"I just want to _fuck_." Ziva exclaimed, pacing around the bathroom.  
Tony raised his eyebrows, "Little help?"  
She glared at him before bending down to pull him to his feet. They dressed in silence only to have Ziva storm out of the bathroom, shortly followed by Tony.

"At least you aren't the one that fell on your back - twice," Ziva's mood was beginning to frustrate Tony further.  
Ziva sat silently on the couch, her arms and legs crossed.

"What, so now this is _my_ fault, is it?" Tony asked acidly, "Because I remember quite clearly, _you_ being the one who pushed us against that door and_ you_ being the one who flipped us over on the table, are you psychic or something? You _want_ to see me hurt and you know _exactly_ what to do make it happen."  
She opened her mouth in shock, frowning at him "So now everything is _my_ fault, then?" She asked in a tone that rivaled his, "I never even said it _was_ your fault." She jumped up, heading to the kitchen.

"Look..." Tony began. He got up to follow her, to stop her.

"No, just forget it; I will see you at work tomorrow."

Ziva grabbed her keys from the bench before walking out the door, slamming it behind her.  
Tony ran his fingers through his hair and sat back down on the couch, rubbing his eyes.  
"Crazy, psycho ninja chick," he murmured to himself.

* * *

_Oh no! Trouble is brewing! Thanks for reading xD I hope you enjoyed. _

_Leave a review and i'll give you a caf pow :D _


	3. Principles

**Author Note:**

**Disclaimer: **_Noooooope. _

**Dedications: **_I couldn't do this without Kali... Well, I probably could, but it would be full of errors! I love you._

_Sorry for the wait, i've been struggling with, well, forming coherent sentences for one. But I finally just finished putting the finishing touches on the third chapter so I hope you enjoy. :)_

* * *

_Tap,_

_Tap,_

_Tap._

Tony looked off into space, his pen hitting the desk rhythmically. He was supposed to be doing paperwork, but his mind was wandering to other things; other not quite so appropriate things.

_Tap,_

_Tap,_

_Tap._

"Tony, can you stop doing that?!" Ziva hissed across the bullpen.

McGee quirked an eyebrow, they were the first words she had said to him all day.

Tony's head shot up. He had a strange, half shocked expression that looked more like Ziva had just rode in the bullpen on a giraffe wearing nothing but pink lingerie and fuzzy blue slippers.

McGee nearly laughed aloud at this mental image.

"Something funny, Probie?" Tony snapped at him, catching the grin that crossed his face.

"Uh... no, nothing," the grin disappeared as quick as it had come, and he went back to typing on his keyboard.

Tony glanced back up at her; she was still shooting daggers at him across the bullpen.

They held each other's gaze.

"Officer David, can I please have a word with you," Tony asked professionally his facial expression not wavering, as he added "_alone."_

Ziva's expression didn't change; she just got to her feet and led the way out of the bullpen, toward the elevator, with Tony following close behind.

They stood in silence for a few moments, before Tony leant over to flick the switch – causing the elevator to lurch to a stop.

He turned to face her, a mask of seriousness falling over his face. Ziva refused to meet his eye.

"Ziva..." He trailed off, attempting to bring his fingers up to her cheek, but hid this action with a cough, he scratched his cheek awkwardly.

"Tony," she replied, clenching her jaw, she still kept her eyes focussed on a dent in the wall.

"Ziva, I know I may have said some... _things_ last night, that weren't very nice."

Ziva laughed cruelly, and nodded her head in agreement.

"Look, I'm trying to apologise." He said through clenched teeth.

"Well you should not have to!" Ziva exclaimed, her eyes finally meeting his.

"I know I shouldn't have to, I don't even know why I'm trying to now," he said bitterly.

"You should not have said those things in the first place!" she clenched her fists.

"Ugh, it's your fault anyway!" He yelled, "If you hadn't flipped us over on that table, or pushed me on the ground in the shower, we would be _happy, fucking, people."_ Excuse the pun.

"Oh, so I _knew_ that was going to happen, did I?! I cannot see the future!" She exclaimed, "Just, stop crawling down my throat, I have work to do!" She reached over to flick the switch.

Tony gripped her hand before she could, "_Jump, Jump _down your throat," he corrected, "and I'm not. Look, we aren't leaving this elevator until we sort this out."

"Speak for yourself," she growled, trying to pull her hand from his grip.

"We have to sort this out, we can't work like this!" Tony exclaimed.

Ziva laughed drily, "You and me both know that is not going to happen until we either fuck, or die."

"I don't see why we can't sort this out now then," he grinned mischievously.

"What?" She asked, paralysed, "Fuck, or die?"

"Take one guess..." he murmured, kissing the tender skin of her neck softly.

"Wait, wait, wait." She said, taking a step back, "Hold on. Just two minutes ago you were screaming at me, _jumping," _she emphasized, "down my throat, blaming everything on me – now you want to have sex?"

"Exactly," Tony said, taking a step towards her again, he pushed her against the wall, pushing his hand under her shirt; he let it firmly sit on her abdomen.

"Tony, we are at work – Gibbs is probably already wondering where we are and the elevator it has been..." She was shushed by Tony, who left a lingering kiss on her jaw.

"Tony, really... stop," she insisted, pushing firmly against his chest.

"Come on, _Zee-vuh, _don't be like this..." He trailed kisses up her jaw, causing Ziva to moan.

"Ah... hmm," she sighed, leaning into him.

Tony rested his hand on her hips, sitting under her shirt. He forced her shirt up slowly, breaking the contact of his lips on her skin to throw her shirt to the ground.

He let his fingers wander up her back, lightly tugging on the strap of her bra.

"Tony, really, that is enough – we just, we cannot do this, it feels wrong I..." she rambled.

Tony sighed audibly, pulling away from her. "I knew this wouldn't work."

Ziva's eyes widened as she crossed her arms over her chest, "Tony are you suggesting that I am a prune?!" she snapped.

He chuckled, "A prune?" he questioned, his eyes drifting down to her bare stomach.

"Yes, you know – all proper and... Ugh," she made a face.

Tony's booming laugh filled the elevator

"Tony!" Ziva snapped, "What?"

"_Prude, prude _Ziva," he corrected her, "You know I can't actually picture you as a prune, not that I want to – It would be like picturing my grandmother naked... and, that's just.. No."

"Don't even try!" she hissed, realisation of what she had said came flooding into her.

Tony laughed.

An offended expression fell onto Ziva's face, "When you picture me, I am naked?!"

Tony laughed uneasily, "Well no, uh."

Ziva glared at him.

"Well, not all of the time..." he was tripping over his words, "Well, maybe... yes." He concluded.

Ziva narrowed her eyes at him.

Tony stepped toward her, "Well, if you actually _were_ naked right now, I wouldn't have to imagine you naked, would I?" he defended

He placed his lips against hers once again, but she pulled away.

"You _are_ being a prude," He stated, raising his eyebrows.

"I am not!" She exclaimed, "Now stop it – we are at work, this is wrong." She walked around him.

He stood up and grabbed onto her wrist, spinning her around to face him once again.

"_Prove it."_

She growled, feeling his eyes taunting her as she pushed him against the wall, covering his lips with hers.

They broke away and Tony chuckled, "So you're willing to disregard all of your principles and fuck me in the elevator at work, just to prove a point?"

She raised an eyebrow - she couldn't really deny it, it was true.

"Yes." She stated a slightly amused expression on her face.

Ziva pushed herself against Tony, feeling the heat radiate from his skin. She placed her lips on his.

_Bzzzt._

"Tony!" Ziva growled, pulling away from him.

"Ugh, it's Probie."

"_What?!" _he hissed down the phone, after flipping it open.

"Um, boss is looking for you and Ziva, where are you?" McGee stuttered into the phone.

Tony glanced at Ziva who was watching him inquisitively.

"We'll be there in a minute," Tony sighed, snapping his phone shut.

"We have to go," he murmured, gripping her hand in his.

She gave him a perplexed look, "I guess we should get back to the bullpen then..."

Begrudgingly, they broke eye contact.

"Fine," he let go of her hand, and she slipped her shirt back over her head.

"I hope you know, my back is killing me," he told her jokingly.

She smiled slightly, flicking the switch so the elevator started to move again.

Just before the doors opened she said calmly, "Well, hopefully we can get it right tonight."

The doors opened and they walked out, side by side, Tony grumbled a reply, "This is going to be the longest day ever."

Ziva laughed.

"DiNozzo, David!" Gibbs snapped as they walked hurriedly back into the bullpen, 'Where have you been?!"

"Seeing Abby," Ziva stated quickly.

Simultaneously, Tony said, "With Ducky."

"Uhh, with Ducky!" Ziva tried to cover up.

"Seeing Abby!" Tony exclaimed at the same time.

They exchanged glances, before sighing.

"Well, which was it?!" Gibbs demanded.

Ziva sighed, "Gibbs, we just had to sort out a few things, I am sorry, it will not happen again."

Gibbs stared at her for a moment before nodding his head. His cold stare switched to Tony.

Tony gulped audibly.

He cringed, waiting for the head slap.

There it was.

"Ow, boss, what about Ziva?!" Tony demanded, just meeting Gibbs' icy blue stare again.

He walked back to his desk, muttering under his breath, shooting a glance over to a smug looking Ziva.

"Psychic Ninja, strikes again," he muttered.

* * *

_Okay, so that was chapter three,_ _oh and by the way, I refuse to make McGee an ass in this fan fiction, so he's still good old probie :) _

_Thanks for reading, anyone else as psyched for Legend as I am?_

_Anyways, make sure you leave a review, i'd love to hear your feedback :) _


	4. קארמה

**Author Note:**

**Disclaimer: **_No, no, no and no._

_Okay, I'm terribly sorry for the long wait! I know, I'm a terrible person. I always bitch when authors don't update for a long time, then here I am doing the same thing! Anyway, I'm sure you can forgive me :) I have to say, I'm not as happy with this fic as I was with Kissing you in the Driveway, I'm not getting as many reviews, that's for sure. But oh well, I hope you guys still like it. I'm hoping this chapter has improved on my others, I think it has. It's definately longer too. Anyway, I'm babbling, Enjoy... _

* * *

"Tony?" Ziva's voice was a hushed echo as she closed his front door behind herself, letting her eyes wash over the empty room.

"Ziva," Tony's voice cut through the silence as he emerged from one of the doors.

"Oh, there you are," Ziva said nonchalantly, peeling off her coat.

"Been looking for me?" he asked, a teasing tone hidden in his voice.

Ziva took a deep breath, hesitation evident in her eyes, "Actually, yes."

"What's wrong?" Tony asked her, his eyes were effulgent in the dim light. Ziva could see the apprehension written across his face.

"What are we doing?" she sighed, her fiery eyes scrutinized his actions.

Tony was in no situation to joke; even he knew when to draw the line.

He had learnt over the years how to read her. She may have been a highly disciplined assassin trained to hide her emotions, to show no weakness, but beneath the facade she was still human; she still had feelings. Subtle emotions would seep through her demeanour, and when they did, it always thrilled Tony, as it was never anything he expected.

"Tony?" Ziva questioned softly, his eyes had drifted to the floor and he hadn't responded.

She was afraid of what would happen when she arrived at his apartment, wanting to talk about things too deep for him. She was afraid he would shut the conversation down, like all of the other things she had attempted to speak with him about. But most of all, she was afraid of him actually answering the question. Afraid of him telling her something she really didn't want to hear.

These fears were the reason she had stood outside his door for a good twenty minutes, fighting an internal battle before she picked the lock, and walked in boldly, fighting the urge to flee.

Tony's eyes snapped up to meet hers; the fear that flashed through them unnerved Ziva further, even though she didn't show this. Her eyes stayed trained on his, reading his movements.

"Yes?" he responded weakly.

"Did you hear me?" Ziva asked, taking a step toward him.

"Yes," he said again.

"Where do you stand on this?" she asked, subtly moving a little closer to him.

He gulped. "I don't know..."

Ziva stopped moving, "So you are just in it for the sex, you do not think about it at all? You have no consideration for the fact that I am your partner?"

"Of course I do!" Tony exclaimed, his eyes daring her to question him again.

"Well then, where do you stand on this?" she asked again.

"Look, I don't know!" he yelled, stepping away from her, "Where do you stand on this?" he asked, his eyes boring into her.

She pursed her lips, sighing, "I asked you."

"I don't even know what I'm standing on let alone where I am!" Tony exclaimed.

Ziva's face was a mask of confusion.

"Nevermind," Tony growled.

"You know exactly what you are standing on," Ziva said prosaically.

"We haven't even fucked yet!" Tony exclaimed stubbornly.

"That is beside the point!" Ziva yelled as her calmness dissipated.

"That _is_ the point!"

Ziva took a few calming breaths, trying to compose herself, before saying quietly, "Look, I did not come here to argue."

Tony bit back a snide comment, choosing just to glare at her furiously.

"I thought we could talk like two mature, dignified adults, but it is quite obvious we cannot, so goodbye, Tony," she turned toward the door, and pulled her coat off the rack.

Ziva felt a warm hand on her shoulder, turning her around sharply.

"Don't put your coat on," Tony said, clenching his jaw.

Ziva gripped her coat tightly in her tight fist, meeting his eye with an equally poisonous glare.

"We can't work like this," he stated calmly, his features relaxing.

"I know, but what are we meant to do?" she asked him, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Sort it out."

"How?"

He took a deep breath, "I don't know."

Ziva nodded brusquely, slipping her coat on smoothly.

"See you at work," she said before turning to leave.

"Ziva..."

She turned to face him once again, "Tony, I do not know what else we can do either, so now, I have to go."

"Ziva, you were the one who showed up on my doorstep, wanting to talk about this and now when I want to talk about it, you have to leave?" he questioned, looking her square in the eye.

"I would have hoped things would be different," she said softly, her eyes ablaze with untold emotion.

"Different?" he asked, stepping toward her.

"I do not just want to be an easy fuck for you Tony," Ziva murmured softly, her gaze dropping to the floor.

"It hasn't exactly been easy..." he said jokingly, but when her hurt eyes met his again, his grin faltered.

"You just do not know when to stop, do you?" she demanded.

"You are much more than that Ziva," he replied, the sincerity in his eyes sent tingles rupturing through Ziva's body, "You're also my partner."

The hopeful feeling in her chest plummeted to her stomach and quickly faded, "Then why are we doing this?!" she asked poisonously, waving her hand at the empty space where his dining table once sat.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"Last time I checked, partners do not have sex," she said hotly.

"Well, good thing we haven't then," he replied bitterly.

The door slammed, and Tony immediately felt alone and regretful, standing in the middle of his apartment

Without thinking, he pursued her, slipping into the corridor before slamming his door behind himself.

"Ziva!" he bellowed down the hallway, making her spin on her heel and give him a perspicuous glare.

Neither of them spoke for a few moments. Their eyes said more than actions or words possibly could.

Ziva turned her body around, and kept walking away from him, her anger and frustration was clearly evident in the way she swayed.

Tony raced after her, catching up to her before she turned the corner.

"Tony, let go of me!" Ziva shrieked, feeling his fingers curl around her wrist.

"What do you want from me?" He breathed heavily through his nose, clenching his teeth together tightly.

She said nothing, just peered into his eyes. Her face was void of any emotion.

"You come around here, wanting to talk to me, now you can't even answer a simple question," he continued, not sounding entirely pleased.

"It is not so simple, Tony," Ziva said calmly.

"What are you trying to say?" he asked, confused.

"You would not understand..." Ziva sighed.

She knew trying to explain her feelings to him was already a lost battle and she wasn't ready to tell him just yet, she was struggling to even come to terms with them herself.

"Fine," Tony said abruptly, dropping her hand.

Ziva was shocked when he had turned around and begun stalking down the hallway toward his apartment. She stood immobilised, watching his retreating form.

"Goodnight, Ziva," he called venomously, his eyes locking with hers one last time before he slipped into his apartment.

Ziva cursed, this was not supposed to happen she thought to herself. She sighed, feeling her lips quiver, and the back of her throat burn. She pinched the bridge of her nose; her emotions were out of control.

She had never been out of control before; everything was always locked away securely inside of her. Suddenly, though, everything had changed. She was physically - and mentally - being betrayed by her body.

She suddenly felt a surge of violent, malicious rage course through her body; it was directed at the man who had made her feel this way. The man who had torn down her protective walls and left her emotional and shattered, wondering what she was doing. She felt her frustration and anger toward Tony come to a riotous bubble at the surface that like everything lately, she had no control over.

Ziva yelled out in frustration, running toward his door she started pounding it with her fists.

"Harah!" she screamed, "Kusemek!" she started kicking the door ferociously, "Ben zonah! Leh lehizdayen!" She cussed in Hebrew, pounding against his door.

She began to mix her languages, "Merde! Va te faire fourte!" she exclaimed.

The door swung open, and Ziva fell forwards, pounding Tony's chest with her fists as it had taken the place of his front door.

"Calm down!" Tony exclaimed, trying to pin her wrists behind her back to no avail.

"Vaffanculo!" she exclaimed.

"No," he successfully held her wrists together.

"Slow down, just breathe," he held her wrists tightly, trying to steady the squirming officer.

Tony took in her flushed cheeks and emotion filled brown eyes.

She was breathing deeply and raggedly as she tried to pull her hands from his grip.

"Tony," she warned.

"What did you expect me to do, let you bash my door down and come in here, then what?" he paused, "What were you going to do when you eventually got in here, kill me?" he asked, an accusing tone underlying his voice.

"Kill you?" she half squeaked, she was slightly taken aback.

Tony watched Ziva crumble before him, after all of her training, her locked up emotions suddenly came flooding out of her.

Tony pulled her towards him; their faces were mere centimetres away as they continued to glare rancorously at each other.

The apartment door closed behind them as Ziva, once again, entered his apartment, being drawn in by Tony.

Ziva wasn't quite sure what was going on, she just put one foot in front of the other as Tony lead her to the empty space in the middle of his dining area, their bodies stayed close as their breath mingled.

Ziva's lips quivered.

"I hate you," Tony whispered.

He pushed his mouth against hers with a bruising kiss. He opened his mouth, thrusting his tongue into hers, as she gasped in shock. Ziva felt a tingling trail where his fingers ran down her spine to rest rather unceremoniously on her ass.

They released all their rage and hatred towards each other into that kiss. Ziva bit down on his lip, hard, causing him to groan as she pushed firmly against the back of his head with her hands.

They broke apart for a moment.

"I hate you," Tony breathed heavily again, pressing his lips against hers once again.

His other hand trailed back up the side of her body, he hooked it around her neck, and rested it on her shoulder as he pushed her backwards forcefully, slamming her back against the counter.

Ziva cried out in surprise and pain, but it was cut short when Tony thrust his tongue into her mouth again. He let his hands run back down to hook under her thighs and he pulled her up and roughly pushed her onto the counter.

Tony kissed a path down her jaw and sunk his teeth into the sweet tasting flesh on her neck.

"Oh!" Ziva gasped as Tony swirled his tongue across her velvety skin.

Ziva wrapped her legs around Tony's waist with crushing force as she dug her nails into the back of his neck.

She brought her hands up to her head, yanking on his hair so his lips would meet hers again.

"Tony," She gasped through clenched teeth, her lips mere millimetres away from his, "I hate you too," she whispered, running her tongue over his bottom lip.

"Good," Tony breathed heavily, "because I still hate you too."

"I am glad," Ziva said softly, her eyes squeezed shut tight.

Tony placed his fingers on her waist and picked her up easily, sliding her backwards on the counter, pushing her shoulders down, he climbed on top of her.

He pushed his mouth onto hers once again, tasting the sweetness of her lips.

He couldn't describe the feelings that were rushing through him at that moment: he was angry at Ziva for coming to his apartment and being completely indecipherable; he was frustrated because they were yet to successfully have sex and most of all – he was horny, for obvious reasons.

Ziva's legs were wrapped so tightly around Tony's waist he swore she was cutting off the blood flow.

Tony knew he was being physically rough with Ziva, but he didn't care, he was too frustrated and angry as he continued to tug on her lips with his teeth.

Ziva felt Tony tug on the bottom of her shirt with one hand, while the other rested just beneath the waistband of her pants.

Ziva dug her fingernails into the flesh of his shoulders, before flipping them over, so she was on top, her knees either side of him.

Tony looked up, and for the first time, he noticed the tears that had welled up in her eyes. He felt a pang of guilt as he watched her stare down at him with emotion filled eyes.

She leant down so her lips were beside his ears and in a slow, sad tone she whispered, "I cannot do this, Tony."

She lingered there for a moment, before placing a soft kiss to his cheek and climbing off of him gracefully.

"Lailah Tov, Tony," she said sadly, walking toward his door, she closed it quietly behind her.

Tony sat up on the counter, a stupefied expression on his face.

"I'm an ass," he muttered to himself, running his hands over his face.

Outside his apartment, Ziva walked along the corridor quietly. She shuddered, partly because of the cold, but mainly because of the way she felt, and the feelings that were pumping through her.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she felt the back of her throat burning. Tears threatened to fall, but she willed them away.

She felt horrible. She couldn't believe that Tony would be so compassionless, as to fuck her in an angry rage, trying his best to hurt her.

She remembered the hurtful look in his eyes as he had whispered that he hated her, this made the urge to cry strengthen.

She shivered. Her body was clammy, and she had butterflies in her stomach. She walked faster. She was worried that Tony would come after her, and she didn't know whether she could face him in the fragile state of mind she was in.

She knew this was out of character for her, but for the first time in her life, she didn't know what to do. she couldn't control her thoughts and emotions and that scared her.

Tony had invoked feelings in her that she hadn't even known existed and the fact that he could do all this without even saying anything only mounted to her frustration.

She felt more tears push at the back of her eyes and she tried to fight them, telling herself that she was strong, and that Tony DiNozzo was doing this to her.

She sighed, it didn't work.

Her vision became blurry as she turned the corner, heading toward the stairs. She willed her feet to move faster, so she could get away.

She placed her sweat slicked hand on the rail as she began taking the steps three at a time. She used her free hand to rub her eyes.

She turned the corner to continue down the second flight of stairs, they were never ending.

She leapt down the stairs, gasping as she felt herself falling forward. She thrust her hand out, attempting to grip the rail. She spun around, clenching her teeth together as she felt her sweaty hands slip.

Ziva squeaked in surprise as she fell backwards, tumbling down the flight of stairs. She cried out in pain as she struggled to stop her fall, grasping at any solid thing she could see.

Suddenly she came to a halt and the world went black.

* * *

_Oh dear, well long story short, I was angry at Ziva so I just has a sudden thought, 'Let's throw her down a flight of stairs!' I still have faith in her though. Anyway I really hope you enjoyed that chap, I have messed around with it quite a bit to get it the way it is, as you can probably tell from the long wait, sorry again._

_Make sure you leave a review, you know how much I love them :) Well, if you don't know how much I love them, it's alot :) So leave one! _


	5. Startling Confessions

**Author Note:**

**Disclaimer: **_Here you go, this is NCIS - specially gift wrapped for you. Wait, you mean I dreamt that? Damn._

_Okay, so I apologise for the long wait, I know it was a terrible thing to do and I am sorry. Oh, and I apologise in advance for this chapter, it hasn't been BETA'd, so if there's any fairly obvious mistakes - I am sorry._

_ P.S The last chapters title in Hebrew means 'Karma' I thought it fit. _

_P.P.S I hated Aliyah._

_On with the show...._

* * *

Tony sat on his lounge, a dismal expression plastered on his face. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about Ziva, and how much he had hurt her. He tried, desperately, to rid his thoughts of her. He tried to settle the uneasy feeling that had bubbled within him. However, he couldn't help but replay the scene over in his mind, from the first moment when he had pulled her body close to his, melding them as one. It sickened him; him touching her body as though she was just a whore, a piece of meat – brought into the world to please him. He remembered everything, right up to the moment she had walked out of his door, whispering goodbyes as her eyes locked with his, an aggrieved expression etched into her face.

Tony swallowed the lump in his throat.

That image had burnt itself into the back of his skull; her eyes had sent an urgent plea, displaying her distress and shattered trust.

He pushed his head back into the plush pillows of his lounge, squeezing his eyes shut against the abhorrent images that were forming in his head.

How had this even began? This... He honestly didn't know what _this_ was exactly; fling, affair? Whatever it was it definitely wasn't healthy, for either of them.

It seemed that Tony was acting like his usual self, just trying to get a girl into bed – no matter the situation, no matter what their feelings were, no matter _who _they were.

But, it wasn't like that; he couldn't shake this feeling that had been growing in him, since that first day. There was some sort of ache, a deep need that would resurface whenever Ziva was around. He never had that with anybody else. The ache, the need, it was driving him crazy. He couldn't do anything without thinking about Ziva, he always wanted to be with Ziva. Ziva, Ziva, Ziva, Ziva, Ziva. Everything was Ziva.

He remembered that first day. The first day they had decided... The first day this had all began.

"_Tony!" Ziva exclaimed, pushing herself up from her desk._

"_Yes?" Tony asked innocently, trademark grin in place._

"_Stop it!" Ziva hit her desk with her fist, punctuating her sentence._

"_Stop what?" Tony's grin became broader._

_Ziva narrowed her eyes and sat back down in her seat, diverting her focus back to her paperwork._

_Another spit ball hit her, right in the ear._

"_TONY!" She launched herself across the bullpen, and in a matter of seconds she was behind Tony's desk, dragging him to his feet._

_A look of fear crossed Tony's face._

"_Why do you have to be so annoying?" Ziva asked angrily._

"_It's enjoyable," Tony smiled._

_Ziva sighed and let go of his collar, standing up straight she brushed down her shirt._

"_That's it? Badass MOSSAD ninja doesn't want to break a nail?" Tony laughed, leaning back in his chair._

_Ziva's eyes wandered up his form slowly, taking in every part of his body with her eyes, "Don't tempt me," she growled when her eyes finally met his._

"_Sorry, it's my nature I'm just naturally tempting," Tony gloated, smiling smugly._

"_Just stop it, Tony," Ziva demanded, grabbing the straw from where it sat precariously on his lip._

"_Hey!" Tony exclaimed, as she sashayed away from him. _

"_I need a break!" Tony exclaimed suddenly, "Want a candy bar?" _

"_Tony, you haven't even done anything to need a break," Ziva sighed._

"_Do you want a candy bar?" Tony asked again, ignoring her statement._

"_Really, I would feel flattered that you were offering if you were not going to steal that candy bar," Ziva said, sounding amused._

"_It's not stealing, they should fix it," Tony grinned._

"_Whatever," Ziva exhaled deeply, "I am okay, steal yourself a candy bar," she smiled._

"_Suit yourself," Tony began to walk out of the bullpen._

"_Oh and Tony," Ziva called, not lifting her eyes from her paperwork, "Bring back a straw, and I will know."_

_Tony smiled as he headed toward the break room._

_Ziva drummed her fingers against the desk, it had been twenty minutes, and he still hadn't returned. She wasn't worried, no, just curious. Ziva knew he was up to something, Tony was __**always**__ up to something._

_She was finding it hard to focus on her work, as her mind wandered to what her partner was doing. The curiosity nagged at her as the minutes ticked by, eventually it got the better of her, and she found herself heading toward the break room._

_Stepping quietly, she spotted him on the other side of the room, resting his forehead against the glass of the vending machine. She stealthily weaved her way through the tables before standing beside him._

_Tony turned to face her, a surprised expression on his face. _

"_You really need to stop doing that," Tony told her, his gaze resting on hers._

"_You have been gone a long time."_

"_It's only been..."_

"_Half an hour," she finished for him._

"_Hasn't felt like that long," He conceded, keeping his gaze trained on hers._

"_What are you doing down here, Tony?" Ziva asked him, leaning forwards a little, her face mere inches away from his. She peered up at him curiously._

"_Getting chocolate," he held up the dollar bill in his hand, for her to see._

"_You are actually paying?" she asked, her eyes widened in surprise._

"_I'm trying to do a good deed... You know, give a little back," Tony said._

_Ziva raised her eyebrows sceptically._

"_Fine, it doesn't work anymore," he admitted, turning around to hit the machine – as if to prove his point._

_Ziva smiled and nodded, "That still doesn't explain why you have been here for so long?"_

"_My dollar won't work how about you try it – you're good at that sort of thing."_

_Ziva plucked the note from between his fingers and slipped it into the machine, breaking eye contact as she ducked down to pick up the chocolate bar._

_Tony reached out to grab it, but Ziva pulled it out of his reach, raising her eyebrows as he rocked back on his heels, giving her a pointed stare._

_She opened it easily, and bit into it, moaning with appreciation._

"_This is nougat, yes?" Ziva breathed._

_Tony frowned, watching her closely, he cleared his throat before answering weakly, "Yes."_

"_I like it," Ziva murmured and opened her eyes slowly; she cocked her head to the side and broke the chocolate bar and passed half to him._

"_I thought you didn't want any," Tony swallowed hard._

"_I changed my mind," Ziva shrugged her shoulders and took another bite out of her half of the chocolate bar._

"_Ziva," Tony growled, placing his half of the chocolate bar on the glass table beside them._

_Ziva's eyes widened, and she looked up at him, speaking through a mouthful of chocolate she asked, "Yes?"_

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Eating chocolate," she said, rolling her eyes._

"_No, this," Tony leant forward, smelling the sweet chocolate on her breath, "This..." he murmured again, closing his eyes; their lips were so close, everything they had ever wanted was so close. Just so close..._

_Ziva's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and before she could even ask him what he was doing – he had pushed his lips to hers softly, bringing his hand up to rest on the nape of her neck._

_She sighed, her chocolate bar forgotten - she dropped it on the floor, wrapping her arms around his neck._

"_Tony," Ziva gasped, "What are you... doing?" she asked, pulling away from him a fraction, swallowing the remnants of her chocolate._

"_What I should have done a long time ago," he growled, pulling her against him softly._

"_Why now?" Ziva pulled away from him again._

"_Can we talk about this later?" he murmured, pushing his lips to hers once again. _

_She pulled away from a moment before whispering firmly, "No," she soon contradicted her words by pushing her lips against his again, soft and sweet._

"_Fuck paperwork," Tony wove his fingers through her hair, "Fuck everything, let's go home," running his tongue over the seam of her lips – he begged for entrance._

_Their tongues met, and everything was forgotten. Rule twelve, Gibbs, the team, the years they had spent pushing each other away, their barricades, their walls – everything was just gone._

Tony sighed. It had taken one moment; one moment to ruin everything they had worked towards, everything they had kept surreptitiously hidden away behind their walls and guarded looks.

He was the one who had fucked that up, he had ruined that, he had caved. It had become too much for him, and he had just given in.

He had fucked things up.

Now things would never go back to the way they were before, they couldn't. He now understood why Gibbs had a rule for this, a rule _against _this.

Ziva probably hated him, and he didn't blame her. He deserved to be hated. He deserved to fall victim to any, if not, all of her MOSSAD super ninja torture techniques. He was actually quite shocked he hadn't. She had been so calm, so... un-Ziva like about everything.

If he went over to her apartment he would no doubt, fuck things up more. But he couldn't stand it, just sitting here while she sat alone in her apartment, thinking about how much of an ass he was. He had to set things straight, and apologise. It had been half an hour since she had walked out of his door. Surely she had calmed down somewhat?

He prayed that she wouldn't hurl something at him if he walked through her door tonight.

Finally convincing himself, he got to his feet and grabbed his keys and coat before launching himself out the door, heading toward the elevators faster than he had ever gone before.

Possible apologies swirled through his head as he made his way down the hallway - as did possible outcomes _from _those apologies.

One of two things would happen tonight, she would either accept the apology and they would happily go on, unperturbed by conflict... or, she wouldn't and he would die a painfully, horrible death.

He swallowed hard as he had this thought.

He crossed the hall and pressed the elevator buttons hurriedly before his eyes wandered downward and he noticed an _out of order _sign sitting lazily on the ground, where it must have fallen off.

He sighed agitatedly, rushing toward the stairs. His heart beat erratically in his chest as he prayed that both, he would arrive at Ziva's apartment soon, and that he could prolong their meeting for as long as possible. He was afraid of what would happen, and what she would say.

He placed his hand on the cool metal of the rail and took the steps carefully, breathing calmly. He kept his gaze focused on his feet; he neared the bottom of the steps, a million thoughts plaguing his mind.

He was about to continue onward, when he looked up to see that he was about to trip over something... something, someone?

He gasped in shock as he realised what... _who,_ it was.

He felt his heart lurch in his chest and his eyes widened as her stared down at the unmoving body at his feet. He stood paralysed, unable to comprehend what he saw before him.

"Ziva!" he cried painfully as he dropped to his knees in front of her inanimate body, he felt for her pulse _thank god _he thought. "Ziva come on," he stroked her cheek tenderly – willing her to open her beautiful brown eyes.

He placed a gentle kiss to her sweaty forehead, pushing the hair from her eyes.

_Oh god, my fault, my fault, my fault, _Tony thought to himself, trying to comprehend what he saw before him.

He clasped her hand with his, and hastily pulled out his phone and called the ambulance, asking them to hurry, a pleading tone underlying his voice. They assured him that they would arrive as soon as possible and then left him to sit in the cold, silent room with Ziva.

"It'll be okay," he said quietly, more to himself than to Ziva who lay motionless beside him.

He heard her whimper softly, and he shuddered thankfully, "Ziva?" He stroked her cheek lightly.

She opened her eyes blearily, staring back up at him with a dazed and confused expression.

"It's okay Ziva; I called the ambulance they should be here soon."

"No...M'fine," Ziva slurred, struggling to hold her eyes open. Her teeth chattered as she lay on the floor in the cold lobby.

Tony sighed, "Ziva, you just fell down a flight of stairs and yet you can still manage to be stubborn," he pulled his coat off and laid it over her.

"Fell?" She blinked a few times, and welcomed the warmness of his jacket.

Ziva felt numb all over, which was probably a good thing considering how she was going to feel later. Her mind and thoughts were foggy – making it almost impossible to remember what had happened just before the fall. She remembered bashing on Tony's door in a furious rage. She blushed slightly at the profane language she had used. Even though she was positive Tony didn't understand the majority of what she had said, it was still pretty obvious that she wasn't screaming about rainbows and sunshine.

"I can't believe this happened," Tony said, burying his head in his hands.

"It is not your fault," Ziva sighed wearily," I should have... been more careful, I still do not remember," she took a breath, wincing slightly, "how it even happened. I am usually very sure-footed."

"It _is _my fault!" he exclaimed, he remembered the pained look on her face, just over half an hour before, as she had walked out of his apartment.

She knitted her eyebrows together and opened her mouth to speak, however she was cut short as they saw the two paramedics approach them hurriedly.

"I'm Logan, and this is Hamish, "one of the two paramedics introduced them quickly, "What happened to you?" He asked kindly, smiling down at Ziva – checking her for any obvious injury.

"I'm _fine _I just..." Ziva began, only to be cut off by Tony.

"She is not fine," he ground out through clenched teeth, "She just fell down this flight of stairs, and she was unconscious when I found her," he gave her a pointed stare, warning her to stop being stubborn.

Ziva glared back at him, pursing her lips in defeat.

"Okay well, how about we get you back to the hospital and then we can determine whether you're fine or not," the younger looking paramedic, Hamish, said.

"I do not need to go, I am fine – seriously," Ziva looked around at the three faces and sighed, "Why will nobody believe me?"

"Because you're not telling the truth," Tony said brusquely.

She narrowed her eyes at him as the two paramedics watched them, feeling slightly awkward.

"Come on, the sooner we get this all over the sooner you can get outta' there," the older one, Logan, reasoned.

"Any hospital?" Hamish asked.

"Bethesda," Tony said weakly, pulling out his badge subconsciously whilst maintaining eye contact with Ziva.

"Sure," he said as they proceeded to put Ziva in the back of the ambulance, much to her dismay.

"I do not want him in this ambulance with me," Ziva said quietly, watching Tony.

"...Okay," Hamish said hesitatingly, sending a sympathetic look to Tony, "Sorry sir."

"It's okay," he said through clenched teeth, stepping out of the ambulance reluctantly.

He sighed as he walked toward his car, a myriad of thoughts whirling around in his mind. Well, he was right about one thing – he _had _fucked things up, and he had fucked them up bad.

He swallowed hard as he remembered what she had said before, "_I still do not remember how it even happened." _Did that mean, perhaps later on – she would hate him even more than she did right now?

"Nice job DiNozzo, nice job," he said to himself sarcastically as he slipped into his car smoothly – looking into the rear view mirror, he watched the ambulance drive away.

He hit his head on the steering wheel a couple of times, before starting the engine and beginning to drive toward Bethesda, accompanied only by his thoughts.

He knew he should tell Gibbs, _"Oh yeah, hey Gibbs well you know, I've just been trying to fuck my partner for the last week or so, and yeah I kind of made her cry, and she fell down a flight of stairs – sorry about that," _oh yes – that would go down well.

"Yeah right," Tony scoffed.

He pulled into the near empty Bethesda car park, and stepped out into the cool night air. The breeze chilled his sweat soaked skin, and made him shudder involuntarily as he remembered that Ziva still had his coat wrapped tightly around her small frame.

He closed his door, and sighed deeply. Pulling his mobile out from his pocket, he leant against the door of his car.

He took a deep breath and pressed speed dial for Gibbs.

"_Gibbs," _he answered gruffly.

Tony let out the breath he was holding and began to speak, "Hey boss, uh, well you see..."

"_Spit it out, DiNozzo,"_ Gibbs barked.

"Ziva's at Bethesda."

"_Care to explain?" _Gibbs asked agitatedly, there was a hint of worry in his voice.

"She uh, fell down a flight of stairs, and uh..." Tony struggled to form words, nerves knotted in his stomach.

"_Is she okay, DiNozzo?" _Gibbs finally asked.

"Yes, she was responsive when they took her in the ambulance, I don't know how she is now – I'm out front, about to go inside," he took a breath, "I just thought that I should tell you."

"_You were with her?" _Gibbs asked through the phone.

Tony cringed, "Yes."

There was a pause on the other end of the phone, Tony was about to speak when Gibbs finally spoke up, "_Well then how come you don't know how she is now?!" _Gibbs asked angrily, "_You went with her didn't you?!"_

"Tony laughed unsteadily, "Actually no, she uh, didn't want me too..."

"_We'll talk about this later, go in and find out how she is DiNozzo, I'll be there soon," _Gibbs said gruffly – hanging up the phone.

Tony switched off his phone, before stepping through the hospitals double doors.

He strolled up to the front desk casually. A young looking nurse sat there, her head was buried in a pile of papers.

"Excuse me?" Tony asked quietly, trying not to startle her.

"Oh, hello!" she looked up, smiling brightly, "how can I help you, Hun?"

"I'm here for Officer David," he said stoically, too consumed with worry and exhaustion to repay her politeness.

Tony's eyes flitted down to read her name tag, _Amanda._

Amanda smiled sympathetically, "She's the young Israeli that came in not long ago?" she questioned, not waiting for an answer she continued, "They're still performing some basic tests, she's okay."

Tony nodded.

"She's a really lucky woman, a fall like that, she must be tough."

"She is," Tony said softly, "Thanks anyway, Amanda."

He turned around and began to pace around the waiting room agitatedly.

It had barely been ten minutes before Gibbs was striding toward him.

"DiNozzo!" he growled, "Any news?"

"No boss, they're performing tests at the moment, that's all I know," Tony stood before him, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

Gibbs look softened for a moment before he asked, a little less harshly, "How did this happen, DiNozzo?"

Tony's whole body tensed up as he tried to avoid Gibbs eye.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs yelled in the empty waiting room, "Why didn't she want you to go with her?!"

"She was at my apartment," Tony spoke up nervously.

"And?"

"We were talking."

"_Talking," _Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, talking!" Tony exclaimed, finally meeting his piercing stare, flinching as he did so.

"Ziva doesn't just fall down stairs, she's MOSSAD Tony!" Gibbs yelled.

Amanda watched them carefully, biting her cheek.

"Look, I don't know! Okay? I don't know! I wasn't there, when she fell. I don't know how she fell, I just don't know!" Tony shouted back at him, his eyes were ablaze with asperity.

Tony was angrier at himself, than at Gibbs. But Gibbs was there, and Gibbs was probing into things that Tony believed he had no right to know about. But deep down he knew that wasn't true and he knew they were doing the wrong thing. Gibbs had rules against this, and they worked for him. But anger was churning inside of him, and he felt it bubbling to the surface.

"What did you do to her?!" Gibbs asked hotly, stepping closer to Tony.

"That's none of your business!" Tony growled before he had thought it through.

"It _is _my business," Gibbs narrowed his eyes, "Do I have to remind you of rule 12 DiNozzo?"

Tony's face went blank.

They heard somebody clear their throat, and they both broke eye contact – looking at a middle aged looking nurse.

"Are you here to see Officer David?" she asked in a small voice.

Momentarily, Tony was shocked that she got her name right, but that was soon pushed out of his mind as other thoughts whirled around his mind.

"Yes," he croaked, stepping away from Gibbs, "Is she okay?"

The nurse smiled, "She is fine, a few bumps and bruises but that's all. She's an incredibly lucky and strong woman."

Tony sighed in relief, before his eyes dropped. Would she actually want to see him?

"Can I, um, see her?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, but I don't advise you stay too long – poor woman must be exhausted."

Tony turned around to look at Gibbs.

"Tell her I'll be in to see her tomorrow," Gibbs said.

Tony nodded.

Gibbs sent him a warning glare, before walking out of sight.

Tony turned back around, shuddering slightly.

"Follow me," the nurse said kindly, leading him down the hallway.

"Just in there," the nurse smiled tightly.

"Thanks," Tony watched her retreat down the hallway, before he pushed the door open quietly.

He licked his lips nervously, before walking into the room. The only light emanated from a lamp beside Ziva's bed, it shed a soft glow over her. She was the only one in the room, lying in a bed on the far right corner. She was looking out the window, at the darkness. Rain had begun to fall steadily since he had last been outside. He walked up to her silently, watching out the window as she did.

"Tony," she said, her gaze not pulling away from the window.

Tony looked down at her, "Ziva, look about what happened..."

"Tony, don't speak," Ziva's eyes finally met his.

"You're still mad, I don't blame you," Tony sighed.

"I am not mad," Ziva smiled sweetly.

"What sort of drugs have they put you on?" Tony asked, his mouth hanging open in shock.

"Tony, I'm not elevated," Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Eleva... Oh, high. You mean high."

"Yes, whatever."

"But before, you were... I don't understand."

"I am not mad," Ziva reiterated.

"You should be," Tony told her, his eyes wide, "after what I did to you."

"We were both very mad at each other."

"Are you sure you aren't on some sort of drugs, this isn't you Ziva."

"Tony, I am not on drugs, but you might have to be if you don't stop saying that," Ziva growled.

"There we go!" Tony grinned.

"Tony," Ziva warned.

"Right, but I deserve to be hated," Tony's grin dropped and he readorned his confused look.

"No you don't, I have been thinking and, I... I don't blame you."

"Yes I do, I deserve to be blamed," Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Can you at least pretend to be mad so I can apologise."

Ziva smiled sadly, "You don't have to apologise to me, I understand."

"I want to apologise, I feel bad."

"Fine," Ziva pulled herself up slightly in her bed, looking him square in the eye, "Tony I hate you! How could you do something like this to me! I always trusted you, I trusted you with my life! You destroyed my trust, I cannot believe you!"

She sounded so believable, he swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling a strange feeling bubble within his stomach.

Ziva's facial features relaxed into a slight smile, "Are you going to apologise now, or do I have to keep yelling?"

"Oh, um," Tony attempted to regain his composure, he cleared his throat, "Ziva, I'm sorry, I really never meant to hurt you like that, I want to let you know that I always trusted you, and you were always there for me, a happy addition to my otherwise long tiresome days," he clasped her hand in his, taking her by surprise, "You have always been able to make me smile, and I hate myself for what I did to you, I just..."

"Tony, it is okay, you can stop," Ziva said softly, laying her other hand on top of his.

"I'm so sorry Ziva," Tony said softly, entwining his fingers with hers.

"Me too," she murmured, leaning over to place a soft kiss on his cheek, wincing slightly as she rested back against the pillows.

"I think Gibbs thinks we're dating," Tony stated.

Ziva's head snapped up and she looked him straight in the eye, "What did you say?"

"I said we weren't."

"Aren't we?" Ziva asked, watching him closely.

"Excuse me?"

"Are we dating?" Ziva questioned again.

"What? No, well I don't think we are... are we? No," Tony stumbled with his words.

Ziva said nothing.

"Do you think we're dating?" he asked her.

She paused for a second before answering, "I do not know what I think, Tony."

"You think you don't hate me," Tony smiled

"That is a good start," Ziva agreed.

"But – what else do you think?" Tony asked, rubbing her hand reassuringly.

"I really, truly do not know."

"We need to have this conversation eventually, we..."

"Look, I will tell you when I know!" Ziva exclaimed, pulling her hand from his grip.

"Sorry."

"Stop saying that."

"Sorry," Tony grinned.

Ziva tried to fight a grin, punching him in the arm lightly

"Ow!" Tony held his arm beside himself, watching Ziva carefully.

"Stop making me laugh when I'm mad at you," she complained, folding her arms.

"Thought you weren't mad at me," Tony laughed.

"You should feel sorry for me, I just fell down a flight of stairs," Ziva said.

"No you're _fine,"_ Tony imitated her.

Ziva poked her tongue at him.

"Real mature, _Zee-vah,_" Tony raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, and you are?" Ziva laughed.

"People expect differently from you," Tony grinned.

"Whatever," Ziva laughed, "I hate hospitals, I need to stay here overnight and I am perfectly fine."

"It's their job, _Zee-vah."_

"It's their job to be annoying, and put other people life on hold?" Ziva frowned, "I have work tomorrow, how am I going to get out of here in time to have a shower and get ready?"

Tony laughed, "You aren't going to work tomorrow."

Ziva narrowed her eyes, "Yes I am."

"God you're a stubborn woman, David."

"I hate hospitals," Ziva whined.

"You mentioned," Tony laughed, "I'll stay with you tonight."

Ziva's eyes widened.

"If you want me to, of course," Tony tacked on the end.

"Of course I would, you would be willing to do that?" She questioned, biting her shaking lip.

"Of course I would," he smiled.

"That is very sweet of you," Ziva commented raising an eyebrow.

"What can I say, I'm a sweet man."

"Sweet, caring," she raised her eyebrows suggestively, "_tempting,"_ she said remembering their conversation those few days prior, "You are a man of many personas," she commented.

"I'm surprising," Tony smiled.

"That is why I love you," Ziva laughed

Tony froze.

* * *

_Oh dear, it had to come out eventually. I really hoped you enjoyed that, it always worries me when I post something that hasn't been BETA'd because I don't know how strangely my mind works, and it's good to have somebody read over it before I post it. _

_Ahahahaha, review? _


	6. Absolution

_Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I give you permission to hit me, as long as you aren't Ziva and you won't kill me with just one. :( _

_Anyway, thank you for being so patient - even if you weren't so patient ahahaha. I don't know how well I did at this chapter, I'm still undecided._

_Anyway, I won't leave you hanging any longer..._

* * *

The moment the words rolled off her tongue Ziva's mind kicked into overdrive. Without thinking, a string of incoherent words fell past her lips as she attempted to redeem herself.

Tony sat beside her as though he was carved out of stone, he didn't move and he didn't breathe.

"I meant... I did not mean that, I just, I... No I..." Ziva fumbled with her words, her eyes were wide with uncertainty and shock.

Tony's silence was unnerving Ziva.

"Say something!" She exclaimed suddenly sitting up straight, her mouth hanging open slightly as she stared at him.

His eyes snapped up to meet hers, and he opened his mouth to speak. But he could form no words; he didn't know if he even remembered _how _to speak. He could see her becoming increasingly anxious with each passing second, but still he sat frozen.

"Please?" she murmured, her eyes were luminous and pleading in the dim light.

"You..." Tony began, finally finding his voice, "I think I should probably go now."

"You promised to stay," Ziva reminded him quietly, placing her hand on his, her thumb tracing lazy circles on his skin.

"I don't... sorry," he pulled his hand out from beneath hers and got to his feet, "I just... I have work tomorrow – and I'm sure you'll be fine for one night by yourself." He smiled; it was only a ghost of his usual smile though.

"So that is what you plan to do, yes?" She looked up at him, outrage and pain was clearly evident in the way she watched him, "Just smile and leave?"

Tony bit his lip and turned towards the door. He just prayed that he could make it out of there alive, and hopefully with all of his body parts intact... hopefully. He could feel her stare burn into the back of his head as he walked.

Ziva laughed darkly, "Of course," She silently watched him walk toward the door before she called after him, a biting edge to her tone, "This is just like Jeanne, yes?"

He paused in the middle of the room. His shoulders were hunched, and his fists were clenched by his side.

"This is _nothing_ like Jeanne," he spoke through clenched teeth, not turning to face her.

"Well then what _is_ this like Tony?" she asked, "Tell me."

"This is like nothing, we are nothing," he said harshly, before he continued toward the door.

"So I was right," her voice cracked, "I am just another one of your stupid conquests, just an easy fuck for you?" she laughed sarcastically, anguish shining through her words, "Even though – how _beautifully_ you put it, it has not been so easy."

"No!" Tony roared, turning to face her, "You're not..." He lowered his tone, "You're not, Ziva."

"Well then, _what_, Tony?" She spat, flinging the scratchy hospital blankets to the side viciously, Tony didn't fail to notice her wince.

She launched herself to her feet, and glared at him. Her stance reminded Tony of an unmerciful, voracious lioness – about to pounce on its prey... _Tony._

"Ziva," his voice wavered.

"_What_ Tony?!" she spat, taking slow deliberate steps toward him.

"You shouldn't be standing up," he watched her closely.

"Oh and you _really_ care," she smiled tightly.

"I do," he swallowed, "I care about you, Ziva."

"You just do not care, _enough."_

"I don't care enough?" he asked incredulously.

"No!" she exclaimed, steadily getting closer to him, "You never have, when you were with Jeanne you never gave a _shit_ about anyone else, do you know how much I worried about you? I thought you had a relapse! You gave a shit about nobody but yourself and your precious girlfriend, you didn't give a shit about me!" she yelled painfully, her gaze dropped to the floor, "...Me... me and how I... I thought you had a relapse," she concluded weakly.

"Ziva, what are you trying to say?!" he questioned hotly, "Stop going through all this bullshit again, stop bringing up Jeanne, it wasn't my fault, like you said – we get orders, we may not like them – but we follow them."

"Oh_ please_," she said dubiously, her eyes met his again.

"You said you loved me," he said, attempting to change the subject – anger was still apparent in his voice.

Ziva's eyes dropped to the floor again, and her stance slackened momentarily before she stood rigid again, "I did not mean that, you – I just..." she sighed deeply, "I did not mean it."

"How can you say something like that and not mean it?"

"I just did okay!" she exclaimed.

"How long are we going to dance around this?"Tony asked her, stepping closer to her.

"Dance around what?"

"This, us... "He raised his hands in a show of frustration, "You know what I'm talking about – you know, you knew when you came to my apartment tonight."

"I am still stuck on the dancing," Ziva looked bewildered.

"Ugh, Ziva," he rolled his eyes, "Figure of speech."

They were close now, only a few feet between them.

"I am proud of you," Ziva raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Tony asked, confusion clearly written across his features, "Why?"

"At the mention of anything personal you usually run for the mountains," she folded her arms across her chest.

"Hills."

"Whatever."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Look, are we really going to do this?" Tony asked exasperatedly.

"Until you realise how much of an ass you are, yes," Ziva said stubbornly.

"I'm an ass, yet you love me," Tony laughed, "Sounds like pretty screwed up logic to me sweet cheeks."

Ziva couldn't remember the last time he had called her that.

"I do not," she hissed venomously.

"Could have fooled me," he grinned.

Tony knew he was playing with fire. He could tell Ziva was getting pissed but he was sick of them dancing around this, it had been going on for far too long – and he wanted it to end. He knew she was right; he had a phobia of commitment. Tony thought when he was with Jeanne that she was the one, but circumstances wouldn't allow them to be together so he began to wallow in self pity, and he shut everybody else out. Although – somewhere in his fog clouded mind, he always did know that Jeanne was never right for him. She was too unlike him in so many ways. Too... _prudish, _he nearly laughed aloud.

"Tony," Ziva warned.

"Look, I'm sorry about the whole Jeanne thing, but you have to understand that it wasn't my fault..." Tony adapted a softer tone.

"Oh cow," Ziva hissed.

"Bull, not cow."

Ziva ignored his correction, "You are not sorry at all, you never cared about the team!"

"You have to be kidding!" Tony exclaimed.

"I am not kidding, Tony. You are an ass!" she yelled vehemently.

"The team is my life, I – how can you?"

"You. Do. Not. Care. You just do not, everything I – the team has done for you, you just do not give a damn!" her tone was slowly rising.

"Stop yelling," Tony put a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off.

"No!" she exclaimed, "I am sick of you Tony! You just..."

She was cut short suddenly when in one sweeping movement, Tony's lips were against hers and she was mumbling into his lips. Her angry ranting quickly turned into heady moans as his lips worked against hers with practiced skill. Tony pushed Ziva's small body closer to his lightly, afraid of hurting her.

Ziva felt her whole body quivering as his comforting scent wrapped her up, filling her nostrils and dimming her senses. It was as though his personal aroma was a heavy fog; it swirled around in her mind making it impossible for her to form a coherent thought. His lips were soft and careful against hers. She found herself wanting to press him against her tighter, but she couldn't bring herself to stop the feelings his slow, sensual pace was creating.

Tony's hand hesitantly slid its way up her side, before he hooked it around her waist loosely; letting his other caress the side of her face softly.

Ziva relaxed into his comforting body, wrapping her arms around him. All of the anger, confusion and frustration she had felt only moments before had faded into nothing as he held her in his arms.

Tony pulled away from her slowly, pressing his lips to hers once more before he rested his forehead against hers.

They both took a moment to allow their breathing to, somewhat, return to normal. They leant into each other, savouring the warmness their bodies shared.

Their eyes remained shut tightly as the moments flew by.

Tony cleared his throat, his breathing not quite even as he murmured softly, "You're beautiful, _Zee-vah._"

Ziva's whole body froze as she stood in his arms. She unfurled her arms from around him, and pressed them firmly to his chest. She took a quick, sure-footed step backwards before shoving against his chest firmly; her deceivingly small frame pushed against him with surprising strength, forcing him to stumble backwards.

"What the hell?" Tony exclaimed, his body slamming into the wall forcefully.

He looked up, and his eyes met Ziva's for a moment, he saw everything she felt – anger, hurt, confusion, frustration. The list goes on. Her eyes were like a window into the emotions and feelings she tried to hide. It was the only flaw in her demeanour, the only thing that could give her away.

_You'll say you don't want to talk about it, but your eyes won't shut up. _He remembered that day as though it was only yesterday. It was the truth.

Tony wasn't sure if anybody else could read her like he could. He liked to think it was his highly trained investigative skills, but somehow – he knew there was another reason, a deeper reason - a connection.

In those brief few moments when their eyes stayed locked, Tony didn't breathe – and he didn't think Ziva did either.

Ziva pressed her lips into a thin line, before forcing herself to look away. She launched herself over to her bed and grabbed Tony's coat from the table beside it. She slipped it on with ease, covering the thin hospital gown that she wore.

Her eyes locked with his once more before she sprinted from the room.

Tony leant against the wall awkwardly, unable to move. He saw her push against the door with two hands and take off down the hallway.

He wasted no time in rushing after her, a million thoughts rushed through his mind as he sprinted down the hallway behind her.

What was wrong with her? This was what she wanted wasn't it? She had wanted him to return her feelings, to love her. She had said she loved him, she loved him. Did she love him? Did she really, or was she telling him the truth when she had said that she hadn't meant it at all.

_Idiot._

He didn't slow down; he was running as fast as he possibly could, probably faster than he possibly could. His breathing was laboured and his legs burned, he wasn't focussed. He just pushed on, trying his best to keep the agile MOSSAD officer in his sight.

These were _not_ running shoes.

"Ziva!" he called out, gasping, pushing himself to keep up with her.

Ziva responded by speeding up.

Tony groaned agitatedly, pushing himself – yet again – faster.

_Damn_, she had just fallen down a flight of stairs – and yet she could still run faster than him. He _really _needed to ease off the pizzas.

Ziva abruptly turned to the left, and slipped out through a glass door.

Tony was only a few seconds behind her; he pushed himself through the door, finding himself in an outside courtyard.

His eyes swept over the small outside refuge. The moon peaked out from behind a blanket of grey clouds, shedding a soft light that illuminated the area. Shrubs, trees and plants of various shapes, colours and sizes bordered the perimeter. A manmade fish pond covered the majority of the space, it was surrounded by park benches and small, smooth pebbles.

He finally saw Ziva. She was sitting on one of the benches, her gaze fixed on the cool, deep, dark water of the fish pond.

The moonlight shone down upon them, reflecting off the pristine water of the pond it gave Ziva a strange, slightly ethereal glow.

"Ziva," Tony said softly, warily. He took a few careful steps toward her – attempting to keep as much distance between them as he could.

Ziva refused to lift her head, she sat silently. The water had a calming effect on her.

Tony sat down beside her, not too close.

Ziva wanted nothing more than to slide over, those few feet, and push herself against him. But she couldn't, she wouldn't. He had hurt her for the last time.

"Tony," Ziva acknowledged him, still not lifting her head.

The water was nice, dark and flat. It looked like glass, unperturbed, beautiful, and perfect. She appreciated it.

Tony leant over and picked up one of the smooth, flat rocks, flipping it between his fingers. He was afraid to make any sudden movements, encase she decided to take off again.

He swallowed hard, his eyes flicking between her and the rock he now spun in the palm of his hand.

With a flick of his wrist, Tony sent the rock skipping across the pond; ripples disturbed the pristine and perfect water.

Ziva sighed agitatedly, "Tony, you have to stop doing that," she spoke softly.

Tony was slightly shocked by her words, "Stop doing what?"

"Kissing me," she said, standing up abruptly.

"I meant it," Tony looked up; her back was toward him, "When I said that you're beautiful. I meant it."

"I do not doubt that you did," Ziva sighed, frustrated, "Looks are all you are worried about, always."

"Not true!" Tony exclaimed, jumping to his feet behind her.

"Can you just cut it out?" Ziva raised her voice, turning to face him. She found him closer than she first thought. Too stubborn to take a step back, she looked into his eyes, her bottom jaw jutting out.

Tony's eyes were shining in the darkness, "You want the truth?" he breathed heavily, "Do you?!"

Ziva didn't flinch.

"You're always on my mind, okay?" his fists clenched by his side as he leant forwards, "Always! Every second that I'm awake, and even when I'm not, you're there! I've always wanted you, I've always wanted this!"

There was a cold silence, as Ziva's gaze dropped to the floor. A thousand thoughts ran through her head, making it impossible to focus on a single one.

When her eyes met his again, they were burning with... fury.

_Oh no._

"Tony!" She yelled, "I never loved you! I never even liked you!" She took a step forwards, "You are an insufferable, chauvinistic ass and I could never stand you, let alone love you!"She gritted out between clenched teeth.

Tony was breathing deeply through his nose, struggling to keep his tone even he said calmly, "Well, that's a shame," he paused, stepping forward so his nose bumped with Ziva's, "Because I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you."

Ziva couldn't stifle the gasp, she stood immobilized.

"Ziva, are you..." Tony began, his sentence lost in a cry of surprise as he was shoved backwards, for the second time that night. He reached out blindly, grabbing Ziva's shoulder –she was soon falling with him.

Ziva squeaked in surprise as she found herself falling forward. She attempted to pry his fingers from her shoulder, but it was impossible.

They landed in the dark, cool water of the pond. Tony gasped as he pushed himself to surface.

Ziva's legs were wrapped around his waist and her face was buried in his neck.

After a short moment, she lifted her head to give him a pointed stare, "What did you do that for?" she asked, sounding outraged.

Tony's mouth fell open, "Excuse me?" Ziva gave him a strange look, "Me? You pushed me."

"You pulled me in!" Ziva exclaimed furiously.

"You pushed me in!"

"I had a good reason," Ziva retaliated stubbornly.

"So did I, you pushed me!" Tony raised his hands above his head in a show of frustration.

Ziva tightened her legs around his waist, "You..." she brought her fingers up to gently caress his cheek, "You were telling the truth, yes?"

"Yes, now will you apologise for pushing me into this freezing cold water?!" Tony exclaimed.

Ziva grinned, weaving her fingers through his wet hair, "I will apologise for pushing you in if you apologise for pulling me in."

"Okay, I am sorry for pulling you in, Ziva," he smiled.

"And I am sorry for pushing you," she whispered, "So you meant it, you really did?"

"Really, really did."

Ziva smiled childishly, pushing his hair back out of his eyes.

"Gibbs?" She questioned quietly, her smile turning into a look of worry.

"Don't worry about Gibbs, I'm only worried about kissing you," Tony murmured softly, running a hand through her wet hair.

Tony knew he should have stopped there, he knew that he should have said, '_Yes, you're right Ziva – let's stop this right here, even though we just admitted that we're in love with each other.'_ Hah, yeah sure. But instead – he forgot about Gibbs and he forgot about rule 12. He breathed in deeply as he registered what had taken place that night. They had admitted to each other, after four long, painful years of teasing and sexual innuendo, that they loved each other. Tony was both interested and afraid to see where their relationship would go now, they had taken a massive leap, one week it's casual sex, and the next they're in love. They were in way over their heads.

He shook off these thoughts and leant forward a few inches so that their lips touched softly, "I love you _Zee-vah_," he murmured before pulling her small body tight against his.

In an instant, Ziva had forgotten about how cold the water was and how Gibbs would react when he found out about them. She forgot all the possible problems that they could encounter. She forgot everything but how Tony was holding her, and how soft Tony's lips were against hers, and how Tony had said that he loved her.

She was unbelievably happy, happier than she had been since before Tali died.

Tony pulled away momentarily, watching her. Her eyes remained closed, and her lips were spread into a smile.

"Kiss me," she leant forwards, smiling devilishly.

"What are you...? Oh oh oh!" Tony laughed, as she dunked him under water, "Hey!"

Ziva laughed, "I love you," this time – after she had said it, she didn't have to immediately think up some excuse as to why she had said it. She felt care free for the first time in her life, and it was _liberating, _"I love you," she said it again.

"I love you too," Tony said before pressing her lips to hers again, "This feels so good," he mumbled against her lips.

"Hm?" Ziva mumbled, pressing her lips to his jaw.

"To be able to finally say it, and mean it completely," he clarified.

"Me too," she said against the hollow of his throat.

"Let's get out of this cold water..." Tony breathed.

"Okay," Ziva agreed, her feet hitting the bottom of the pond as she dropped them from Tony's waist, "Will you stay tonight?"

"Of Course," Tony smiled, hugging her to him.

* * *

_ I really hope that was okay, review and tell me what you think... Please :) _

_I'm really unsure of this chapter, so if you could tell me what you think it will put my mind at rest :) xoxox_


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